Sorry for the interruption….

I know I have been gone for a while, but its been a whirlwind of activity!

There was the vacation to Wisconsin to visit Mr. O’s family… there was the camping trip because we simply can NOT pass up camping in 100+ degree weather… and there has been the getting ready for the move for my new job!!!!!!

I accepted the position in Phoenix, with a report date of August 6th… so, we have been figuring out how and when we are all going to see each other as well as lookingfor places to live online – which is not as easy as it would seem!

But, everything else is good – money goals are being met and reintegrating is awesome! 

 

I will be back to post some vacation pictures soon!

Orders….

By Tuesday  I already had my orders in hand and by Wednesday I already had a welcome email and links to places to stay for an extended period while I find a more permenant residence.

Wow. It has NEVER been that fast in the Army. Ever.

I already have the transportation dates set to come pack up all our stuff. Even the stuff in storage at our last duty station.

I cannot even describe to you how excited I am about this promotion, or what it means for my family’s future – or how it validates my choice to go back to school and get that degree – even if it meant working 5-6 nights a week and hardly getting any sleep. Ever. (Plus having to put up with the BS that goes on in a bar…)

Nor can I tell you the sadness I feel about how it affects my family in the present. Again, we will be separated. But this time, we will be the ones leaving, not Mr. “O”. It is going to be odd.

But then I try to think about having my chaise lounge sofa back and I get all happy again. (of course I am still sad about having to live away from my husband. But it is what it is – it is the choice we made and sitting and wallowing in self pity and sadness isnt’t going to change the fact that what is done is done. We made the best choice we could with the information we have for our family and we need to follow through with it, without all the waterworks.)

Phoenix – we should be on our way!!!!

Friday was a whirlwind.

Right before I left the office, I got a call from the company, offering me a Management position in the Phoenix area.

After discussing the move with Mr. “O” over the weekend, I called them today and accepted the position.

I am very excited about this. It is a HUGE corporate ladder rank jump – and it’s in a CITY! A REAL, LIVE CITY!

Yes, it sucks that I will have to leave Mr. “O” here until he retires… but we are planning for the long term.

This promotion is awesome. I haven’t been able to stop smiling for days now.

YaY ME!!!!!

 

22 lives that will never be the same….

I may rant about aspects of Army life now and again (See yesterday) but today I want to – I NEED to – reflect on something much greater than my petty pharmacy issue.

Mr. “O” was lucky that he got to return home earlier than anticipated. His entire unit did not come home with him.

You might have seen in the news that 5 Soldiers died in Iraq this past week.

Those 5 Soldiers were my husbands Soldiers.

17 more were injured.

Had my husband still been there, there is a 98% chance that he would no longer be walking upon this Earth. The rocket hit what was his “chu” (his little trailer house).

5 of those 22 lives are lost forever. 17 of those lives are changed forever. The title says 22 lives…. but reality is that it is HUNDREDS of lives that are changed forever.

From the Soldier that was injured but went back into a burning building without shoes on to pull another Soldier out – and then was unable to get back into the building to save one who perished.

From the families of all the Soldiers who are lost or injured – this can quickly equal hundreds of lives affected.

From the Soldiers who were there who were neither lost nor injured, but left helpless to do anything in the choas.

All of these lives are completely changed forever.

For me, personally, there are feelings of immense guilt. I feel awful for my fellow military families, but at the same time, I feel extreme relief that I can look at see my husband. I can touch him. I can smell him. I can argue with him about where the hell he moved my shoes to.

I am shaking right now with the thought that had it taken just 2 more weeks to get him home – his homecoming might not been of one being mad at American Airlines. It would have been one with a much more somber effect – a zombing effect – that my fellow Army wives are about to deal with.

Everything happens for a reason. My husband was not happy to be coming home early. (Well, he was happy to come home – but he didn’t want to leave his guys behind)  I told him, “You know, maybe something big is about to happen and it just isn’t your time for that”.

How I wish I had never said those words.

This event will haunt him until the day he does leave this Earth. He feels as though if he was there he would have been able to do something to stop it from even occurring.

I am not trying to get into whether we should be in a certain place or not. That is a discussion for a different time under different circumstances.

But tonight, when you see your families – when you talk to your parents on the phone – when you see your friends – when you walk past a stranger – remember that life is but a brief moment.

Love. Laugh. Live. Make sure those you care about know that you do. Show them. Hug them. Kiss them. Let the little things go to the wayside.

Above all, be thankful that wherever you are – there are those who are there ready to stand and protect you and all that you love. Their courage can never be underestimated or diminished.

I salute all of them on this day.

 

It does get better….

about 30 minutes after my rant, my wonderful husband gave me really big hugs. Lots of them.

No, it doesn’t make everything better. And no, it doesn’t mean that reintegrating is going to just be a breeze from here on out, but it does mean that we both understand that it will take adjusting. (Not just me – whew!)

Reality is, we will still have arguments and silly fights along the way. We will be back into the push-pull of our relationship. Our “defined” roles from before his deployment are no longer the “defined” roles because things have changed while he was away – I *did* do everything at home – to include starting a Master’s program, Zumba and continuing my hobby of scrapbooking.

I started new things to fill in the time I had to fill. I can’t just stop those things just because he came home. Life does goes on, even when they are away – and it is hard for them when they return. As well as for the rest of the family. But I really cannot stop a Masters class in the middle of the class. Unless he wants to pay the $1400 for me to not even pass. (Which I doubt he really does)

It is just going to be an interesting adjustment period.

And I have the Xanax in hand, just in case. 🙂

Reintegrating…

Sucks.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that my husband is home. I do.

But for more than 7 months I did everything. I did the laundry, the cleaning, the grocery shopping, and the bills. I was the giver of punishments to the children and also the giver of hugs and kisses.

I was the everything. And now he comes back and feels the need to either A) disrupt the system we have in place because it doesn’t work for him or B) Disrupt the system we have in place in order to feel like he is part of it.

Either way, it is hard. I have been accused of moving everything around after asking him a billion times and then screaming to STOP MOVING MY STUFF at him – even though I haven’t moved ANYTHING that belongs to him. Not. ONE. THING. To include the flip flops he left in living room before he went to Iraq, that were STILL. WHERE. HE. PUT. THEM. WHEN. HE. GOT. BACK.

I am very sorry to be venting here, but this is driving me crazy. Even more crazy?

He blamed the fact that the doctor prescribed me Xanax on himself. Yeah. That was totally not a passive/aggressive move to make me feel like shit, was it?

The fact that I prescribed the medication WHEN HE WASN’T EVEN HERE doesn’t seem to matter. Nor does it matter that MAYBE! JUST MAYBE! I do have a medical reason to take it! No! That doesn’t matter! All that matters is that HE doesn’t want me taking medication so he will use any guilt method he can for me NOT to take it.

And then? When I flip out with an anxiety attack? Then its all MY FAULT because I GET MYSELF into a tizzy. (OK, Maybe I DO – but maybe if I was taking the medication I wouldn’t be in a tizzy?!?)

Reintegrating is a bitch. And I don’t care how many times it has been done before – each time is different. I have no advice for myself or for anyone else on how to make it “easier”, because it is never easy.

But if I find my purse moved from where I put it one more time I seriously may flip out of my mind. Same thing with the can opener. It goes in the same place it did even BEFORE YOU LEFT! Why move it to another drawer? Because it is funny to watch me go can opener hunting?

*Rant over- enjoy the rest of your Memorial Day!*

Using Coupons for good….

 I am sure many of you are aware (or should be aware) of the horrible tornados that have been wrecking havoc across our nation.

Some of our local business have been holding drives to obtain items to bring down to the Joplin, MO area. They are paying for the Semi truck to bring the donations, they just needed donations.

My family has been so blessed. Even when times were tight and we had no idea how everything was going to get paid – everything did get paid and we always had food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, running water, and many other unnecessary things in life that, over time, we all take for granted.

So, in order to continue teaching the children about giving, we decided to use the coupons that we had to help make a difference for some families out there. Families who have lost everything.

To the store we went, with my coupon binder. No, everything wasn’t at a rock bottom price. Yes, things were on a “sale” – but I know in another week or two they would be cheaper. But the need isn’t in a week or two. The need is NOW.

We obtained over $250 worth of goods for the good people of Joplin, MO for $85, using coupons. We sent non-perishable food, body wash, deodorant, toothpaste, diapers, razors, shaving cream, feminine hygiene products  and baby wipes. We also sent extra bedding that we had around here. No, it may not be brand new – but it is in excellent condition, it is clean, and it will be a blanket for someone.

I find it important to make sure my children realize how blessed we truly are and to always help others in their time need – even if all that could be contributed was one tube of toothpaste, that one tube helps someone in a way that can never be measured.

I am proud of my current town. The truck was full of donations. Americans may be a lot of things to this world but there is one thing we most certainly are: GIVING. I am proud of how we stand together through devastation, even when it isn’t our own personal devastation. There are so many reasons to be proud to be an American, but this one gets me every time. Our ability to open our hearts, and wallets, to people we never knew and will never meet, but we are there for them.

But going to the store, buying items with coupons also taught my children how to stretch their charity dollars. Which is also important to me, because I want to make the biggest impact that I can with the resources that I have available.

Our coupons allowed us to do that today. Those little pieces of paper allowed my family to do more than what we would have previously been able to do.

Coupons are good.

 

If one thing always stays the same….

its that everything always changes.

I did do very well with that interview. Today, the person who interviewed me called my boss for a “reference”.

This should tickle me pink. And it does.

On one hand.

On the other, my husband just got back.

Of course we talked about this before I even applied. But we didn’t think I could have potentially three offers. And never did we think it would happen the first week he was home.

Second thoughts? A bit.

But we are still talking. There has been no offer made on the table yet – so we will see what happens.

I wish he could just retire today. Then we could just all go together – at the same time.

*sigh*

When it rains, it pours…

So, last night I had an interview, which I think went pretty well.

Then today, I got a call for another position within the company I applied for. They set up an interview for next Friday.

About an hour after that, I got a call from yet another position I applied for and got an interview set up for Tuesday.

So now I have gone from zero people calling me back to three interviews within a 1 week period.

Of course, all the positions are in different locations.

What happens if I get an offer for one position before I even have my interview for the other positions? Oh me, oh my! What a fiasco!

I never expected to have this many interviews in the same time frame. Call me crazy, but I just didn’t expect it. Of course, it has boosted my ego quite a bit.

This time last year, I had applied for over 200 jobs and couldn’t even get a telephone interview. My, how a year changes things.

Funny enough, none of my qualifications have changed.

*shrug*

So, no time to go back to having a panic attack about it all. And to go get my couponing on. Oh yes, I am about to hit the stores with my coupons!!!!!!!

I think it went well…

the interview, that is.

The only downside? I would have to move. About 10 hours away. When my husband *just* got back.

We talked about this all before. For hours and hours. And about the benefits vs. the rewards and yadda yadda yadda.

But now that I actually got an interview, one in which I think I did extremely well with, that could lead to actual job offer?

I don’t want to think about leaving him.

He is telling me to stop crying and being dramatic. It isn’t like we haven’t been separated before – and we are just fine. That we talked about this… that I should take opportunities that present themselves when they do because we don’t know if they will present themselves later down the road.

But the thing is – there will always be an opportunity somewhere. I know that there will be. I have faith that there will be.

I think we need to pray and let God move us in the right direction.

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