22 lives that will never be the same….

I may rant about aspects of Army life now and again (See yesterday) but today I want to – I NEED to – reflect on something much greater than my petty pharmacy issue.

Mr. “O” was lucky that he got to return home earlier than anticipated. His entire unit did not come home with him.

You might have seen in the news that 5 Soldiers died in Iraq this past week.

Those 5 Soldiers were my husbands Soldiers.

17 more were injured.

Had my husband still been there, there is a 98% chance that he would no longer be walking upon this Earth. The rocket hit what was his “chu” (his little trailer house).

5 of those 22 lives are lost forever. 17 of those lives are changed forever. The title says 22 lives…. but reality is that it is HUNDREDS of lives that are changed forever.

From the Soldier that was injured but went back into a burning building without shoes on to pull another Soldier out – and then was unable to get back into the building to save one who perished.

From the families of all the Soldiers who are lost or injured – this can quickly equal hundreds of lives affected.

From the Soldiers who were there who were neither lost nor injured, but left helpless to do anything in the choas.

All of these lives are completely changed forever.

For me, personally, there are feelings of immense guilt. I feel awful for my fellow military families, but at the same time, I feel extreme relief that I can look at see my husband. I can touch him. I can smell him. I can argue with him about where the hell he moved my shoes to.

I am shaking right now with the thought that had it taken just 2 more weeks to get him home – his homecoming might not been of one being mad at American Airlines. It would have been one with a much more somber effect – a zombing effect – that my fellow Army wives are about to deal with.

Everything happens for a reason. My husband was not happy to be coming home early. (Well, he was happy to come home – but he didn’t want to leave his guys behind)  I told him, “You know, maybe something big is about to happen and it just isn’t your time for that”.

How I wish I had never said those words.

This event will haunt him until the day he does leave this Earth. He feels as though if he was there he would have been able to do something to stop it from even occurring.

I am not trying to get into whether we should be in a certain place or not. That is a discussion for a different time under different circumstances.

But tonight, when you see your families – when you talk to your parents on the phone – when you see your friends – when you walk past a stranger – remember that life is but a brief moment.

Love. Laugh. Live. Make sure those you care about know that you do. Show them. Hug them. Kiss them. Let the little things go to the wayside.

Above all, be thankful that wherever you are – there are those who are there ready to stand and protect you and all that you love. Their courage can never be underestimated or diminished.

I salute all of them on this day.

 

Summer lovin’ ~ ~ ~

Having a blast!!!!!

Saturday night we went to the “dueling piano’s” show on post – it was actually pretty good. Much better than I expected it to be and the turnout was much more than we expected as well. Overall it was a great time.

After that, me and the hubby went and met some friends for some drinks across the street from where we live. It was really low-key and I even got to hear the music (well some of it) that I played on the jukebox, which always makes me a happy, happy girl!

Then Sunday morning came. It kinda hurt to get up (drinks) but I had to get to the store to get my coupons before they were all gone! I am so happy that I did, cause just 2 hours later when we went back to the store, all of the major city newspapers were gone (with all the BEST variety of coupons).

So, I clipped and sorted and packaged the ones I won’t use to mail to my cousin who does coupon swaps. In the process of doing this, Mr. “O” comes in, kisses me and says “it’s time to go!”

Not knowing what he meant, I just kinda looked confused.

I guess he was ready to take the boat out on the lake, cause while I was clipping coupons, he had hooked the trailer up to the truck, loaded up an ice chest full of drinks and snacks, had the girls already changed into their bathing suits with sunscreen ALREADY on.

How I missed all of this activity around me, I don’t know. Coupons must be pretty sexy.

At least I didn’t have to deal with any of the prep work. I just changed into my bathing suit and boat clothes, jumped in the truck and went along for the ride! Woot! Best boat day EVER!

New Job?

Well – it happened!

That interview I had last week? I was offered the job today!

I haven’t accepted it – yet. And now I don’t know if I will.

It’s complicated – but part of the reasoning is although they will pay me what I want, they won’t pay to move me. Moving ourselves is going to be costly. We are working to get OUT of debt, not deeper into it.

Plus, there is the emotional stuff of hubby just getting back, yadda yadda yadda.

I pray that at the end of the day we make the best decision for our family.

Did I mention I had another interview today for a different job, still have an interview Friday for yet another position and just had another position I applied to have the status changed from “applied” to “interview” – which means I would need yet another interview?

Why is it a year ago I couldn’t seem to get an interview to save my life, but just a year later, 4 out of the 5 jobs I have applied to want to interview me and at LEAST one of them (so far) wants to hire me?

*sigh*

It shouldn’t be such a tough decision. But it is.

It does get better….

about 30 minutes after my rant, my wonderful husband gave me really big hugs. Lots of them.

No, it doesn’t make everything better. And no, it doesn’t mean that reintegrating is going to just be a breeze from here on out, but it does mean that we both understand that it will take adjusting. (Not just me – whew!)

Reality is, we will still have arguments and silly fights along the way. We will be back into the push-pull of our relationship. Our “defined” roles from before his deployment are no longer the “defined” roles because things have changed while he was away – I *did* do everything at home – to include starting a Master’s program, Zumba and continuing my hobby of scrapbooking.

I started new things to fill in the time I had to fill. I can’t just stop those things just because he came home. Life does goes on, even when they are away – and it is hard for them when they return. As well as for the rest of the family. But I really cannot stop a Masters class in the middle of the class. Unless he wants to pay the $1400 for me to not even pass. (Which I doubt he really does)

It is just going to be an interesting adjustment period.

And I have the Xanax in hand, just in case. 🙂

Reintegrating…

Sucks.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that my husband is home. I do.

But for more than 7 months I did everything. I did the laundry, the cleaning, the grocery shopping, and the bills. I was the giver of punishments to the children and also the giver of hugs and kisses.

I was the everything. And now he comes back and feels the need to either A) disrupt the system we have in place because it doesn’t work for him or B) Disrupt the system we have in place in order to feel like he is part of it.

Either way, it is hard. I have been accused of moving everything around after asking him a billion times and then screaming to STOP MOVING MY STUFF at him – even though I haven’t moved ANYTHING that belongs to him. Not. ONE. THING. To include the flip flops he left in living room before he went to Iraq, that were STILL. WHERE. HE. PUT. THEM. WHEN. HE. GOT. BACK.

I am very sorry to be venting here, but this is driving me crazy. Even more crazy?

He blamed the fact that the doctor prescribed me Xanax on himself. Yeah. That was totally not a passive/aggressive move to make me feel like shit, was it?

The fact that I prescribed the medication WHEN HE WASN’T EVEN HERE doesn’t seem to matter. Nor does it matter that MAYBE! JUST MAYBE! I do have a medical reason to take it! No! That doesn’t matter! All that matters is that HE doesn’t want me taking medication so he will use any guilt method he can for me NOT to take it.

And then? When I flip out with an anxiety attack? Then its all MY FAULT because I GET MYSELF into a tizzy. (OK, Maybe I DO – but maybe if I was taking the medication I wouldn’t be in a tizzy?!?)

Reintegrating is a bitch. And I don’t care how many times it has been done before – each time is different. I have no advice for myself or for anyone else on how to make it “easier”, because it is never easy.

But if I find my purse moved from where I put it one more time I seriously may flip out of my mind. Same thing with the can opener. It goes in the same place it did even BEFORE YOU LEFT! Why move it to another drawer? Because it is funny to watch me go can opener hunting?

*Rant over- enjoy the rest of your Memorial Day!*

Using Coupons for good….

 I am sure many of you are aware (or should be aware) of the horrible tornados that have been wrecking havoc across our nation.

Some of our local business have been holding drives to obtain items to bring down to the Joplin, MO area. They are paying for the Semi truck to bring the donations, they just needed donations.

My family has been so blessed. Even when times were tight and we had no idea how everything was going to get paid – everything did get paid and we always had food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, running water, and many other unnecessary things in life that, over time, we all take for granted.

So, in order to continue teaching the children about giving, we decided to use the coupons that we had to help make a difference for some families out there. Families who have lost everything.

To the store we went, with my coupon binder. No, everything wasn’t at a rock bottom price. Yes, things were on a “sale” – but I know in another week or two they would be cheaper. But the need isn’t in a week or two. The need is NOW.

We obtained over $250 worth of goods for the good people of Joplin, MO for $85, using coupons. We sent non-perishable food, body wash, deodorant, toothpaste, diapers, razors, shaving cream, feminine hygiene products  and baby wipes. We also sent extra bedding that we had around here. No, it may not be brand new – but it is in excellent condition, it is clean, and it will be a blanket for someone.

I find it important to make sure my children realize how blessed we truly are and to always help others in their time need – even if all that could be contributed was one tube of toothpaste, that one tube helps someone in a way that can never be measured.

I am proud of my current town. The truck was full of donations. Americans may be a lot of things to this world but there is one thing we most certainly are: GIVING. I am proud of how we stand together through devastation, even when it isn’t our own personal devastation. There are so many reasons to be proud to be an American, but this one gets me every time. Our ability to open our hearts, and wallets, to people we never knew and will never meet, but we are there for them.

But going to the store, buying items with coupons also taught my children how to stretch their charity dollars. Which is also important to me, because I want to make the biggest impact that I can with the resources that I have available.

Our coupons allowed us to do that today. Those little pieces of paper allowed my family to do more than what we would have previously been able to do.

Coupons are good.

 

Adjusting…

It is curious to watch Mr. “O” and the girls readjusting themselves to each other.

They (girls) have grown so much since he first left. He was expecting to find his babies, not practically (in his mind) grown women.

They are trying to temper the change by still being his “little” girls, while attempting to show their newly developed independence and character.

It is a very curious thing to watch, indeed.

Life is wonderful….

Yesterday we took the kids to the zoo and hung out. Me and my husband talked for hours and hours. You know, those talks that happen when you first met and start dating someone? But somehow, overtime, get shorter and shorter? These ones were longer and longer. 🙂

Today we spent a fun day couponing and going out getting some stuff. Yep. Awesome.

Right now I can smell the steaks grilling. I am so excited that he is home. It is an amazing, awesome feeling having the love of your love, your truly better half, your rock, your everything being home.

Even if he wasn’t here for more than 12 hours before he started rearranging stuff. LOL

On US Soil!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. “O” is on US soil! Look out!

Right now they have him arriving back home at some ungodly hour at night. No way, Jose.

As soon as he gets to Dallas, that ticket is getting changed to an earlier flight. So for anyone who is trying to fly into our regional airport who isn’t military – if the plane is full – I am very sorry for you, but you are going to have to give up your seat!

(Which is one thing about the Airline carrier that flies into this regional airport – returning military get to the front of the line, even if it means bumping someone else off. Sorry for whoever that person may be!)

At least, we are hoping that said airline abides by their own policies and allows him an earlier flight.

I barely got any sleep last night. It is raining right now which makes running out and doing my errands annoying. I am getting some more laundry done.

I have all this nervous energy surrounding me. I am so anxious – this is worse than Christmas!

Leaving, on a jet plane….

So it is official! Mr. “O” is somewhere in the skies up above, making his way back to the good ‘ole U S of A! Hooah!!!!! Best news of the day! Which means, if everything goes according to plan (which we can never count on, but will hope for!) he should be early tomorrow afternoon! Awesome! Just in time for Friday Movie night! Which is the Justin Bieber movie, “Never say Never”! HAHA! (He might just wish he had gotten the choice to delay his return one more day! 🙂 )

Needless to say, I was jumping up and down at work practically all day. Even though he isn’t coming in until the afternoon (fingers crossed) I am taking tomorrow off of work, cause I have A LOT to get down around here!

Like – make the bed! Bring the recyclables to the center! Bring this box of clothes to the Salvation Army! Do laundry! You know, everything I *would* have done over the weekend but won’t, because I will be busy snuggling with my super-awesome-sexy-hero-husband!

Next best thing that happened today? I applied for one of the internal jobs with my company at Headquarters. This is a very competitive position. Over 300 people applied for it – and *I* got a Preliminary interview! *AWESOME*!!!!!!!! This does not mean that I will automatically get an interview, interview, of course, but it is still a positive thing moving in the right direction!

Third best thing? I applied for another job within my company (not at HQs though, in the field) and my resume status has been changed from “PreScreen” (meaning they have it) to “Review” (meaning someone is looking at it!) And since I am HR, I can be sneaky and see how many other people are in review, and only 7 people are in review status! Another positive thing!

Fourth best thing that happened today? I went grocery shopping and spent LESS than I anticipated although I bought MORE than what was on the LIST! How awesome is that? I swear, I am loving my coupons more and more everyday! And yes, I bought more toliet paper! And I am running out of room in my freezer, so my hubby is coming home *JUST* in time to go to the store with me and look for a stand alone freezer! (Of course, with a possible move, is this justified? I don’t care – I will take the freezer with me!)

This Thursday has turned out to be an incredible day! Now – off to scrub toliets and other mundane chores pretty much all night long, because there is NO WAY that I am going to be able to fall asleep! Advanced warning: I may do mini-blog posts all night long!

(I also stopped by and got some Crown Royal, my hubby’s favorite, for him. The biggest bottle that I could buy. Which is like 1.75 Liters. Had to get some Crown for my King! 🙂 )

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